


breathing in the fire

by writingkilledreality



Category: RWBY
Genre: Age Difference, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, OT3, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingkilledreality/pseuds/writingkilledreality
Summary: "And you, you're supposed to be the responsible one! You're supposed to drag Qrow away from his stupid shenanigans, not join in on the fun! I'm the teenager in this relationship, if anything I should be the one making stupid decisions. Qrow is the drunken, reckless mess, I'm foolishly brave, we need you to be the responsible one!" Ruby said, pointing her finger angrily at Ozpin as she spoke.





	breathing in the fire

**Author's Note:**

> hello readers! i am alive, i'm just busy a lot and very bipolar when it comes to writing. i've had this partly written for awhile (months) but never finished it, but here it is! but a couple of things first:   
> 1\. my dear friend and a writing legend Ardy wrote part(s) and helped edit this. i'm sure you'll be able to tell what part is her amazing writing  
> 2\. oz's voice is so hard to get right. so if it goes back and forth from in character and ooc, sorry, i'm learning.   
> 3\. if you don't like the ship, sorry don't read it   
> anyways, enjoy~

Ruby tapped her foot in frustration as she glared up at the numbers of the elevator. Her anger climbed with the numbers as she crossed her arms and leaned on the wall behind her. She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, worry settling over her like a blanket. She was irritated, angry, pissed, and...rather worried. Even when she was angry at them she was still concerned, but even with that concern, her skin still burned with anger. Gods, she was going to seriously hurt those two men. The elevator doors swished open as Ruby stomped her way into Ozpin's room, her anger renewed at the stupidity of her men. 

"What the hell were you two thinking?" Ruby shouted as she made her way over to the couch where Ozpin and Qrow were sitting. The two glanced over at her, identical, gentle smiles making their way onto both men's faces at just the mere sight of her. They couldn't help but smile, Ruby was adorable, even when she was supposed to be mad and striking fear into their hearts. Upon seeing their smiles, Ruby moved to the front of the couch and glared down at them, hoping that the two would be stricken with fear at the sight of her intensifying glare. 

Glaring down, a hand resting on her hip, she noticed the oxygen mask in Qrow's hand. Propped between his feet was an oxygen tank given to him by Beacon's medical bay, further proof that he had been stupid and gotten hurt. Beneath her frustration, Ruby's heart tugged at the idea of either one of her lovers getting hurt. 

Qrow leaned forward his hands resting upon his knees, mask held loosely within them. "We were thinking of doing our jobs," Qrow said softly, trying to defuse the bomb that Ruby was slowly becoming. What he didn't realize was that Ruby was no bomb. She was no random spurt of anger, she could not be diffused with a series of simple words. She was a storm, Hurricane Ruby, raging at the world, taking down whatever got in her way, nothing could stop a hurricane. She was quite a lovely hurricane, well at least when her wrath wasn't being directed at the powerful Huntsmen. 

"You  _idiots_  are not firefighters, you are Huntsmen! You had no business running into a burning building. You are _not_  fireproof, and you two are _not_  invincible, no matter how much you might think so," Ruby yelled at them, anger and worry reflecting in her eyes, though the anger masked the worry quite well. Qrow glanced over to Ozpin, willing him to try to calm Ruby, Ozpin always had a calming demeanor to him after all. 

"We weren't fighting a fire, we were getting people out of the burning building," Ozpin spoke up as Ruby snapped her gaze to the green clad man. 

"And  _you_ , you're supposed to be the responsible one! You're supposed to drag Qrow away from his stupid shenanigans, not join in on the fun! I'm the teenager in this relationship, if anything I should be the one making stupid decisions. Qrow is the drunken, reckless mess, I'm foolishly brave, we need you to be the responsible one!" Ruby said, pointing her finger angrily at Ozpin as she spoke.  _She has a point_ , Oz thought to himself, thinking of the many foolish things his two lovers had gotten into. His mind automatically filled with memories of a drunken, broken man who felt the need to fight the world and a red clad girl who often found herself in the middle of more trouble than she even knew. Oz opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short when Qrow began coughing. All the anger vanished from Ruby, being replaced with the blanket of concern she had been fighting. Ruby took a step towards Qrow, taking his hand and guiding the oxygen mask to him. "Breathe," she ordered gently as Qrow held the mask to his face, meeting her worried eyes as he took deep breaths. "Did you two get checked out? You could have smoke inhalation or—" 

"We're both okay, Qrow just needs to breathe with the oxygen mask for a while," Oz reassured her as she nodded to herself. Her fingers twisted together in nervousness as she took in a calming breath, trying to ease the concern that had settled in her chest. Ozpin reached out and gently took one of her hands, pulling her to his lap, arms wrapped around her waist as he buried his face into her hair. He breathed in her scent before pressing a chaste kiss to the curve of her neck. "We're okay. We've gotten hurt worse training you." Ruby smiled slightly, knowing that he was just trying to cheer her up while also complimenting her improving skills. In reality, Qrow and Ozpin constantly kicked her ass while training, though Oz was usually much gentler with his strikes than Qrow.  

"Do you need oxygen, too?" Ruby questioned with concern, a finger tracing over the almost healed scratch on his cheek. 

"I'm fine my lovely rose, I promise," Oz spoke with a soft smile, "I wasn't the one with the brilliant idea to run into a burning building." Qrow glared over at Oz as the silver haired man ignored the look. Instead, he focused on trailing his fingertips down Ruby's spine, trying to comfort and reassure her that they were both okay. 

"No, you were just the one who went along with it," Ruby scoffed as she pressed her cheek to his chest, letting out a soft sigh at the feeling of his hand running along her spine.

"Our dusty old crow has always had a habit of dragging me into trouble," Ozpin told her with a slight smirk. 

"Hey! I am right here," Qrow called out, removing his mask as he glared at the two. Both of his loves quickly reached out and guided the mask back over his mouth. 

"Breathe," they both demanded harshly in unison as Qrow rolled his eyes. The red eyed man didn’t put up a fight, instead he actually listened and put the mask back on, relishing in the beauty of both of their smiles. While Ruby's smile was full and bright, bringing the utmost light everywhere she went, Oz's smile was gentle and warm, a familiar thing, a thing of understanding and care. He would give anything to be able to keep those smiles in his life forever. He lived for those smiles, he loved being the cause of those smiles. 

"Can I stay here tonight?" Ruby asked, her eyes meeting Qrow's. The red eyed man shrugged, removing his mask just enough to let hover near his lips still, glad that his lungs were no longer burning with the effort of taking in oxygen. 

"You're asking the wrong person kiddo," Qrow said, nodding over to Ozpin. Ruby chewed on her bottom lip before moving to straddle Ozpin's lap. The man's hands found the small of her back as she moved, making sure that she wasn't going to fall. She placed her hands on his neck, thumbs tracing along his jaw as a distraction.  

"Oz," Ruby purred as the man raised an eyebrow at her. "Can I please stay here tonight with you and Qrow?" 

"Ruby, I don't think that's—" 

"Please, Oz," she begged as she shifted in his lap, moving to lean closer to him, "You two scared me today, you could've gotten hurt. I just need to stay with the loves of my life. I just want to sleep wrapped up in the arms of my protectors." Oz's eyes trailed over to Qrow as the air was knocked from his lungs. Maybe he did need the oxygen mask after all.

_Protectors_. The words echoed in his head like a prayer, that was all Qrow and Ozpin had ever wanted, ever needed. There was always something missing between them alone, they needed someone to protect, someone to balance them. They always worked better with another. They loved each other greatly, they helped and saved each other, but they were also almost too much for each other at times. They needed someone to temper them, to protect, Ruby was the perfect fit. She was someone they could love and protect. She would eventually need protection from Salem, she was a silver eyed warrior after all. She was a body they could worship every part of, a smooth valley of skin they could kiss every millimeter of, a warmth they could hold at night. She was a light in their otherwise dark world, and gods did Qrow and Ozpin need a flicker of light in their lives. 

Qrow met Ozpin's gaze, obviously having the same thoughts as him. Ruby Rose really was the perfect woman. "Please, Oz,  _please_." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, gentle but sure. The kiss was just a simple meeting of lips, but between her close proximity, her soft lips, and her quiet pleading, it was doing things to Ozpin. The silver haired man broke the kiss, letting his hands rest on her thighs. 

"If I let you stay, you can't keep pleading and kissing me like that, vixen," Ozpin said, swallowing hard as he tried to focus on her face and not her lovely breasts that were being presented to him, a tempting, but forbidden treat. 

"You know what I love about you?" Ruby questioned with a playful smile, tilting her head to the side in an adorable manner as she watched him, "You call me minx and little vixen the way Qrow calls me sweetheart and little red. It's practically a term of endearment now." Qrow let out a chuckle as Ozpin glanced over at him, shaking his head. 

"What?" Qrow questioned with a shrug, "She's not wrong." Ozpin rolled his eyes as he looked back to Ruby, who was giving him puppy dog eyes. He let out an almost silent groan, he could never say no to those deep, crystalline silver pools.

"Yes, you may stay. But please, for the sake of Qrow’s sanity and my own, no funny business," Ozpin sighed out as Ruby nodded eagerly. She let out a squeal of delight as she pressed a quick kiss to Oz's lips before getting off of his lap. 

"Are you going to go stop by your dorm?" Qrow questioned, eyes locked on her as she crossed the room. She stopped in front of the chest of drawers, fingers trailing along the handles before she pulled a random one open and dug through it as if she owned the place. A smile played on Qrow’s lip as he watched her rummage through the drawer. Ruby had a way of making herself at home no matter where she was, a way of filling the room with her warmth and love, it was one of the many things Qrow loved about her. It was also one of the things he hoped she would bring with her when she became a Huntress, being in an inn or even in the middle of the woods would feel like home if she was around. 

"No," Ruby answered as she continued to dig through the drawer, "I was just going to find something of Oz's to wear." A smile settled on her face as she pulled out a dark green, almost black, shirt. She closed the drawer before bringing the shirt to her nose, inhaling the scent of Oz that still lingered. "That's okay with you, right Oz?" She turned back to look at him, a warm smile on her lips. Oz blinked at her, having been distracted by watching her make herself at home. With her looking at him like that, he couldn’t even fathom the idea of denying her, not that he really wanted to. Ozpin licked his lips, eyeing the shirt that was held delicately in her hand. Who was he to say no? Oz nodded as Ruby bounced slightly in joy, rushing off to change in the bathroom. 

"Get ready for bed, both of you," Ruby called out before shutting the bathroom door. Qrow tossed the oxygen mask to the side as he got up from his seat, heading over to his bag. 

"You heard her," Qrow said as Ozpin let out a sigh and got up. Both men shuffled around to find sleepwear, the muffled sound of Ruby's humming making its way to their ears. They both quickly changed, not wanting Ruby to walk in and get any ideas. Qrow pulled back the silk and satin sheets, crawling under them with a happy purr. Qrow had always loved Ozpin's taste in sheets. They were one of the finer things in life, and being a Huntsman made one appreciate the finer things, though Qrow was certain he always preferred the owner of the sheets more than the sheets themselves. 

"That woman is going to be the death of us," Ozpin sighed out, staring at the bathroom door as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Gotta love our girl," Qrow mumbled, hands still trailing along the silky-smooth sheets. Ozpin glanced over at the man, reaching out and letting his fingers run through Qrow's raven locks. Qrow breathed out a sigh, eyes slipping shut at the feeling of Oz's fingers raking along his scalp. 

"I know you told Ruby that you were fine, but this is me asking. Are you okay?" Oz asked in a quiet tone, fingernails still scratching at his scalp, "I know you keep the darker things from Ruby, but I know all of the dark things that have happened to you, that you've done. I'm the listener, Ruby eases your soul, we balance." 

"Ruby's a good listener." 

"I understand the darkness. I understand the pain, and I know how to get you out of it when you're drowning. Ruby is a beautiful light, and she tries to understand more than I ever thought possible for someone her age, but she is so pure and lacks the Huntsman darkness."

"I'm fine, I promise," Qrow told him, opening his eyes to meet Ozpin's gaze. The red eyed man's face softened into something Ozpin recognized well. It was a look he wore when he was stuck remembering the days where everything went wrong. "I can still taste the smoke and I can still feel the heat of the flames, but I can breathe fine now." Ozpin's eyebrows knitted together in concern, hand brushing down Qrow's jaw. 

"No one got hurt. No one died. Everyone is safe. You are safe. There's no need to dwell on it, my love," Ozpin spoke softly, lips brushing where Qrow's jaw and neck met, "This is one of the good days." 

"I know, I know, but...running into that building, being in that fire, it just reminded me of..." Qrow trailed off in thought as Oz delicately kissed Qrow's jaw, soft chaste kisses usually only saved for Ruby. 

"Shh," Oz cooed against Qrow's skin, "The past can't hurt you anymore. You are safe. Ruby and I will not let the nightmare get to you, will not let the darkness tarnish your light." 

"Never," Ruby spoke up as both men turned at the sound of her voice. She was leaning against the door frame, head pressed to the wood, arms wrapped loosely around her body as she watched them with a gentle smile. Her hair was messy, hair falling in unkempt waves, strands framing her face like a work of art. Ozpin's shirt, which ended just at her knees, flowed loosely around her body. The dark green cloth clung to her skin whenever she moved a certain way, showing off the curves of her body every now and then. 

Ruby smiled, warm and gentle, before pushing off the door frame and making her way over to the bed. "You and Oz are my protectors," Ruby said as she crawled onto the bed, moving to sit astride Qrow's lap, "My brave, strong Huntsmen, my knights with a scythe and a cane. Two of the strongest, fiercest Huntsmen I have ever met or heard of. I couldn't dream of anyone better to love and protect me. I am so lucky to have you both love me, and I'm equally lucky to have you two protect me, but I want to protect you too. Both of you. I don’t want anything to happen to you two. That need to protect someone when you love them is mutual. It goes all ways." Her hands settled on Qrow's neck as she spoke, the red eyed man's hands resting instinctively on her thighs as one of Oz's hands lingered on the small of her back. 

"We’re grown men and fully trained Huntsmen, Ruby. We don’t need protecting," Qrow said with a shake of his head. Ruby let out a chuckle, glancing over at Oz, who looked just as confused by her laughter as Qrow.

"Wow," she chuckled out, "That’s ironic coming from you two." The two men both raised an eyebrow in question at her as she let out a sigh. "You two are always trying to protect me, even when I tell you I can take care of myself. It’s cute until I start hearing it every waking hour of the day. I’m even starting to hear it in my dreams. Anytime I say something along the lines of what you just said, I get ignored. I don’t always need protecting, I can take care of myself." 

"There’s a difference," Qrow spoke with an eye roll. He was used to this argument with Ruby. She had declared numerous times throughout their relationship that he was overprotective of her, that he treated her like a fragile, breakable glass doll. He wasn't denying that he was protective. It was necessary! Ruby did not truly see the real, dark dangers of the world, but he did. He knew what the world was really capable of, and he knew Oz knew too. Ruby also did not truly understand how special her eyes made her, how much of a target they made her. He was protective of her because he never wanted anything to happen to her, he never wanted that pure light she held to be diminished. 

"Because I’m a girl?" Ruby questioned with an eyebrow raise, challenging him to say something stupid. Qrow remained silent, knowing better than to speak anything that could anger Ruby more. Oz, sensing Qrow being backed into a corner, decided to steer the conversation away from being sexist. 

" _No_ , it's because you’re still in training," Ozpin interjected, thumb brushing soothing circles into the small of her back. He of all people knew how incredibly strong women were. Women brought life into the world, women were mother bears at heart, willing to do anything for the ones they loved. Ozpin had known many of women in his lives who could give him a run for his money. More importantly, as the Headmaster of Beacon, he knew that women were capable of anything. They held the strength to destroy Grimm, held the heart to help the people, held the bravery to keep moving forward through the fight. He would never doubt Ruby or anyone else's abilities and skills just because they were a certain gender. 

"Don't you two trust your teaching abilities?" Ruby questioned with an outraged cry. That was one of the things she never understood. They were so protective of her, but they were the ones training her! Were they not teaching her the right things that would keep her safe? Sure, there were people out there that could take her down easily, could take Qrow or Ozpin down easily, but they were protective of her over everything! Not just when it came to fighting. "What's the point of all of these training lessons when you two are going to fight my battles for me my whole life and not allow me to handle it?"

"Ruby, we do trust in our teaching abilities, as well as  _your_  abilities," Ozpin spoke softly, his voice taking on the tone he usually used when he was lecturing her on something, trying to teach her a lesson, "But even the most skilled Huntsman can get hurt or beaten. There are no guarantees in this job. We just want you as safe as possible." Ruby clapped her hands once in excitement, startling Qrow, who almost got hit by her hands. 

"Sorry," she quickly apologized to Qrow before turning her attention back to Oz, "But that goes exactly back to my point. There are no certainties in this job, and you guys might want me as safe as possible but I want you guys safe too. I love you both, and I want to protect you both.  _Always_. Maybe you two have the physical protection aspect of our relationship covered, but I don’t just want to protect you physically. I mean, that's a bonus, but I get that you two are more equipped to handle the physical dangers. It’s the emotional protection that I want to provide more of. I want to be the one you have to come home to, the one who keeps you fighting. I want to be the one who holds you in the middle of the night when everything goes wrong, when everything becomes too much for you to handle. I want to be the one who helps you heal your emotional scars. I want to be the softness you crave when the world has been too rough. I want to be that person in our relationship, because, no offense, you both are very emotionally damaged. Some more than others…" 

"Offense taken," Qrow mumbled as Ruby turned her attention fully to the red eyed man. 

"Look, this isn’t completely about you two trying to protect me. Yes, it can reach an annoying extent sometimes, but overall, I love it, because it means you two love me. It’s also highly attractive in many different ways and it often turns me on, but I digress. This is about you not telling me everything that’s going on with you, not opening up to me about the darker things in your life. I know you’re scared that I’ll see you differently, that my feelings for you will change, or that I’ll be immersed in the darkness of the real world, but none of that is true. I know who you are in your bones, Qrow, and that’s who I fell in love with. The world isn’t going to change anytime soon and shielding me away from it, fighting my battles, it's just going to put me in more danger in the long run. I need you to have my back, not push me aside and shield me from a fight.

"I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I realized you have a habit of keeping things from me. You never tell me about your missions, at least not the ones that have you coming back to me raging drunk, and you never tell me how you’re feeling, or why you feel that way. You push me out, and I get it. Sometimes it hurts, but I know you're trying to protect me from what you think is this awful darkness you hold. You just...you never let me worry about you. You don't like to talk about you," Ruby said, voice kept low as if not to scare Qrow away from the conversation. Her fingers were tracing along his bare collarbone in gentle touches that almost made Qrow wince. When did he ever deserve someone so kind and gentle? 

Ozpin, who had remained quiet as he listened to Ruby, watched Qrow for his usual signs, before reaching out and running a hand through Qrow's hair. Ruby shifted in Qrow's lap, moving to rest her cheek against his chest, Ozpin's hand dipping down enough to brush through her hair every once and awhile. "I don't want to push you. I know how you can get, and I get that, I really do, but..." She paused and bit her lip, snuggling to his chest. "Qrow, I love you and you don't have to be guarded with me. I'm not here to judge you about anything, I'm here to help you heal. Both of you. I want to help you heal, but I can't do that if you won't let me in, if you won't let me see the damage left behind, the emotional scars. You both have to let me in. You guys have got to stop keeping barriers up around your hearts like I'm some kind of invader. I'm not an invader, I'm not trying to break down your walls to hurt you. My home is in your hearts, it's where I belong, and I just want to come home. I want to help the both of you, because you two are my home, my loves, and seeing you so broken, hurts me too." Ruby turned her attention to Oz as he held his arms open for her, beckoning her into his arms. With a smile, Ruby climbed from Qrow's lap into Ozpin's lap, sitting sideways so that her legs were sitting draped across Qrow.

"I'm here to help you heal too, Oz. I want to know who you are. The good and the bad," Ruby whispered as she leaned into Oz. The silver haired man wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he resting his chin on the top of her head. 

"You wouldn’t think I’m some kind of awful person?" Oz questioned, gently rocking her. He knew that Ruby Rose always saw the best in people, not matter what, but even he feared that the mistakes he had made in his lives would be too much for the pure hearted girl. 

"Never," she confirmed, "To be honest, I’ve kind of always thought you were perfect, so it’d be nice to know you have human faults like everyone else." Oz chuckled, causing even Qrow, who had fallen oddly silent, to smile. 

"I’m not perfect," Oz told her with a gentle smile. Ruby grinned then moved to sit on Qrow’s lap again, her fingers tracing along his lips. 

"And I love you. Both of you. No matter what." Qrow glanced away from her. This conversation was beginning to hurt, and he was beginning to want a drink. He loved her more than he could fully comprehend most days, there was no denying that, but he still wasn’t sure if he deserved to be loved by her, or even Oz for that matter. He was far more broken than them, far more burned by his past, unworthy of being loved. He knew his Semblance didn’t affect them the way it affected everyone else, but the fear still crept into his mind. Oz and Ruby, both knowing how the red eyed man thought, reached out and stroked his hair. 

"Qrow, please just let me in," Ruby pleaded, her eyes glassy with desperation. Qrow bit his lip, trying to look away from her, but she held his gaze, worry written so perfectly on her face. There was no judgement, no pushing, just the desperation of a worried love. "Please." 

Qrow turned his gaze to Oz, trying to show the silver haired man how he was feeling. "Open up to her, let her in," Ozpin urged him gently, "You've let me in." 

"It's different with you and you know it," Qrow snapped, though he quickly reeled in his burst of emotion, "It's always been different with you."

"Why? Because she's so young? Because she's so submissive and I'm not? Because I've seen you at your worst? So has she, she just doesn't know why. Is it different because I've kept you from teetering off the edge before?" Ozpin questioned, ignoring Qrow's panicked look. "And yes, I mean a literal edge, of a very tall building."

"Oz," Qrow warned. 

"What?" the gentle eyed man questioned, "Do you not want her to know about all of the times I've talked you out of jumping off a building? Why are you so scared of telling her things you know she would be nothing but understanding over?" 

"That doesn't very seem effective, I mean, you can fly in your crow form," Ruby mumbled under her breath, her gaze locked on a nonexistent thing. 

"Ruby," Ozpin scolded her. He knew he was being harsh with Qrow, but he had done this more times than he could count. Oz knew that sometimes Qrow just needed a push and a few harsh words to make his barriers drop, but in that moment, Oz also knew that Qrow needed Ruby to be the gentle one. Ruby’s comment, though true and definitely something she would say, wasn't the most helpful when trying to get Qrow to open up to her. Oz reached out and snapped his fingers in front of her face, giving her a displeased look. The silver eyed teen jumped as she focused back in on Oz with an apologetic smile. 

"Sorry," Ruby spoke quickly, "I didn't think before I spoke, but still, jumping? It just doesn't seem very...you?" Qrow tapped his fingers on the side of her legs, regaining her attention. His unamused and slightly broken look made her rambling stop as she leaned slightly into him. "I love you."  

"Jumping wasn't his only suicide idea. He tried almost every idea you can think of. Luckily, someone was always there to stop him or help him," Ozpin explained to Ruby, causing Qrow to glare at the silver haired man despite the emotions that had taken over him, grief for the dead, sorrow for those he killed, sadness for himself. 

"Oz, stop talking," Qrow sneered out, trying to let his frustration at Oz overcome the other emotions. Being angry was easier than anything else. 

"I'm sorry, do you not want her to know about all of the times you've gone out to start a fight you knew you were going to lose, all because you wanted that pain? About the days where you just wanted to feel— _begged_  to feel— _something_? You don't want to talk about the days you'd punish yourself by punching a wall until your knuckles were raw and bloodied? About the times you hurt yourself, made yourself bleed, more than anyone else ever could? Do you not want her to know about the fact that, if you didn't use your Aura, not all of your scars would be from battle? That if your Aura didn't kick in to protect you, you'd be dead from your own doing? You don't want her to know that you have almost killed yourself over the things you've seen and been through? That you could've been dead before she ever fell in love with you, before she was born?" 

Qrow fell silent as he avoided Ruby's eyes. He could feel her stiffen as she slowly took in what Oz was saying, slowly realizing that she could have never known Qrow, could have never met him when she was a baby, could have never grown up watching him, hearing his stories and voice. She could have never met him and it wouldn't have been because of the Grimm or their enemies, but because of himself. 

He knew she was trying to meet his gaze, but he didn't want to see it. He couldn't stand the pity, the judgment, couldn’t stand that she was beginning to see how broken he truly was, unworthy of being loved. He avoided Oz's gaze as well. Those copper brown eyes had seen too much of Qrow already, most of which had been a complete disaster, usually involving tears and pain, lots of pain. Qrow didn’t need him seeing anymore of his emotional meltdowns, didn't want to see Oz hurt himself on Qrow's broken edges as he tried to piece the dusty old crow back together. 

The red eyed man felt the urge to run from his problems, whether it was with a bottle or literal running, he wasn’t sure, but running was not an option while being trapped between Ruby’s legs, her weight keeping him to the bed. He felt like he was going to be sick, like he had been stripped naked, left in the cold, vulnerable and breakable. Oz always had a way of doing that to him, of leaving him emotionally raw and vulnerable. 

_Oz_ , Qrow hissed to himself. Why did he have to ruin the simplistic peace he had with Ruby? Why did he have to throw out the shield he had always kept around Ruby, keeping her light protected from his dark? Did Ozpin seriously think that Qrow wanted to be this way, that he wanted to feel everything and nothing all at the same time? Did he not realize that Qrow shut Ruby out to keep her safe, to protect her from...everything. That’s all he’s ever wanted, since he’d fallen in love with her, he had wanted to protect the only thing that made him feel alive again. Ruby was what made him feel as if he was worth loving, worth something in this world. Qrow had tried many times before to tear down his barriers and let her in, but Qrow knew that throwing all of his problems onto Ruby would only suffocate her in the end. His problems would drown her, and drowning her would leave him alone, and  _gods_  was Qrow  _petrified_ of being alone. 

"Qrow." Ruby’s voice was silken like the sheets, so soft that it almost hurt him. Qrow flinched as Ruby touched his face, trying to get him to meet her gaze, but he didn’t want to see the awful things he was sure she was thinking. "Qrow, look at me." Qrow squeezed his eyes shut, tears slipping from his eyes. He felt as if something was breaking in him. Maybe it was his relationship with Ruby that was breaking apart. Maybe it was the universe shifting around him as Ozpin forced him to make room in his darkness for Ruby. Maybe it was the pain of changing, of letting Ruby in not so that she could simply just save him, but that she could go through it with him, by his side. Whatever it was, it washed over him, bathing him in a wave of sadness he knew well. The awful memories came back to him in a powerful tsunami that left him almost breathless. His skin crawled with the memories, old scars burning as the stories behind them came to mind. Qrow sobbed as the pain of everything rushed over him, everything he did to himself, everything he saw, everything he did, it washed over him and broke the walls he had so desperately tried to keep up, had so desperately clung to like a lifeline. If he kept them up, then maybe he could keep the pain out, but the walls were broken and so was he with it. 

Rough thumbs, that Qrow recognized well, wiped at his cheeks, ridding him of just some of his tears. Oz’s thumb trailed back up his cheekbone as Qrow desperately leaned into his touch as if it alone would rid him of the pain. His shoulders shook with his cries as Qrow kept his eyes squeezed shut, tears still flowing. Oz, feeling the pain of his love, glanced over at Ruby, silently asking for her to let him take over. Ruby nodded, rubbing at her chest as Qrow's pain filled the room. Maybe they weren't sharing Aura, but Ruby could still feel his pain and sorrow as if it was her own. Maybe it was just the amount of emotions he was letting out, or maybe that was just something that lovers could do, feel the others pain as if it was their own. 

Ruby moved off of Qrow, getting out of the way as Oz slid over and pulled Qrow into his embrace. She watched as Qrow let out a sob and hid his face to Oz’s neck, she desperately wanted to reach out, but she knew she was in the dark here. It was Oz who had kept her Qrow together for her, he had told her that much before, and it was Oz that her Qrow needed now. So she stayed silent and watched, maybe she’d learn something. In the back of her mind, she remembered what Qrow said Oz often did to help him and blushed. 

As Qrow let out another wave of sobs that left the teen almost breathless, Ruby felt herself grateful for Oz being there, for being the one to take over. Ruby knew how to help Qrow, she did, she knew how to get him to stop drinking and how to get him to calm down and go back to sleep after a nightmare, but this was something different. This was a side of Qrow that he had never let Ruby see before, and the sheer amount of emotions that Qrow let out was almost too much for Ruby's young heart to handle. She felt broken with him, and she so badly wanted to ease his pain. But she knew in her heart, she _knew_ , that this pain was necessary, this breaking was necessary. If he was ever going to heal, ever going to let her completely in, he needed to stop running. He needed to face everything head on, let it wash over him and trust that his lovers would get him through it. 

Oz slid a hand into Qrow’s hair and massaged his skull in small rotations, Qrow still shook but the tension throughout him eased slightly. "Breathe." Oz slide his other arm under the smaller man and rolled so Qrow was laying on him. He glanced over to Ruby and mouthed,  _Watch._

Ruby nodded and shifted so she was sitting with her legs crossed, it seemed that Oz was about to give her a lesson in understanding Qrow. Maybe understanding wasn’t the right word, helping was a better way to put it. Ruby understood Qrow plenty, maybe she didn't know all of his stories like Oz did, but she knew who he was and understood him. She just didn't know how to help him when he got like this, mostly because she had never seen him like this. She just felt so...helpless in that moment, she was just thankful Qrow had Oz, that they both had Oz. 

She watched as Oz, now in a better position, held Qrow to him with one arm while expanding the circles he was drawing through the man's raven haired locks. When Oz spoke, it was in a voice that Ruby hadn’t heard before, it wasn’t his teaching voice or the gentler tones he used with them in private. It held a different kind of authority, a deep rumble that could easily be a growl but wasn’t quite there. It held no anger, but it wasn't a gentle, soothing thing either. Ruby wasn't sure how to describe it, but she knew that if Oz turned it on her, she’d obey without thought or question, whatever he wanted, however he wanted it.

"I am here, beloved. The past cannot harm you. It is just you and I," Ozpin rumbled out, shifting his voice so it reverberated up and echoed in the pairs' bones.

Ruby saw Qrow relax, saw the shake to his shoulders stop and knew the tears had stopped as well. As Qrow relaxed, Ruby could feel herself relaxing too, the pain in her heart easing. She was almost certain that it wasn't because of Qrow calming down, she knew it had to be Oz’s voice causing her to relax. Qrow’s voice was thick and tight when he spoke. "The past lingers." Ruby cocked her head confused, that didn’t sound like something he’d say. She wasn't sure what exactly was happening, but the way her Qrow spoke, the words sounded almost rehearsed, like they had been said and used numerous times before. 

Oz tightened his fingers in Qrow’s hair and pulled him up by his hair, red eyes met copper and held for several long moments. Ruby sucked in a breath of surprise before biting her lip, doing her best not to make a sound. She would never imagine Qrow letting someone do that to him, the way Oz pulled him was almost rough in its manner and it must have hurt.

"What do you see?" Ozpin asked in that same rumble. He drew his other hand up Qrow's back pressing along his spine in one long smooth movement.

Qrow moaned and tightened his grip in the sheets. Oz’s hand came up to cup the smaller mans’ jaw. Ruby found it odd how one action had her Qrow almost panting above Oz. She could see how Qrow started to blink, his eyes becoming more focused with each blink. Finally, the red eyed man spoke softly, "I see sunlight."

Oz smiled softly and let go of Qrow’s hair, drawing his fingers down over the man's temple and cheek, drawing him up with the other hand and kissing him chastely. Qrow purred and leaned up, having none of that chaste stuff. He kissed Oz again, nipping the larger man's bottom lip. Oz growled lowly and wove his right hand back into the black locks. Qrow wove his hands into Oz’s hair and pulled slightly wanting more, he whined when Oz pulled him back by the hair again. "Enough," he growled lowly and took a deep breath. He grabbed Qrow by the hips and pulled him down slightly so Qrow could lay his head down on his chest and ordered, "Be calm and listen."

The red eyed man obeyed the order without hesitation, snuggling his head to the middle of Oz’s chest, ear pressed to it. He closed his eyes and listened to the  _thump_ _thump_  of the other man's heart as Oz wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Oz trailed his fingers up and down Qrow's spine, keeping in sync with Qrow's now steady breaths. 

"Oz?" Ruby whispered almost silently, not moving from her spot until she got permission. She was almost scared to move, fearful that the moment she did the world would crash down again and something bad would happen. The silver haired man, who had been completely focused on Qrow in that moment, glanced over at Ruby with gentle eyes. 

"Come on," Oz whispered, his voice back to the gentle tone he often used with her. Ruby moved carefully, crawling to where Qrow had been previously. Oz raised an eyebrow in question at her, his fingers still trailing Qrow's back, almost lulling the red eyed man to sleep. 

"I like sleeping in the middle because it makes me feel safe. Having you two sleeping on either side of me makes me feel loved and protected. I figured that once you finally let Qrow go that he'd need that feeling more than me," Ruby explained softly, letting her fingers lightly stroke down Qrow's arm. 

Oz smiled as he glanced down at the man snuggled to his chest. If Qrow was listening to them or even noticed Ruby's touches, he wasn't showing any signs of it. He looked almost peaceful in that moment. His eyes were closed as he let out deep sighs to keep himself calm. Ruby moved her touch from his arm, reaching out to brush his hair from his forehead. Ruby bit her lip before glancing over at Oz. "Can I try?" Her voice was small and cautious, and it hurt Oz to think that Ruby thought she couldn't help Qrow. Oz nodded, shifting slightly as he lifted Qrow's head to meet his gaze once again. Qrow was no longer sobbing, but his eyes still held a deep pain and sadness, one that hurt both Oz and Ruby to see.  

"Make it go away," Qrow mumbled, his chest still hurting with pain, "Make me feel alive. Love me,  _please_." Oz glimpsed over at Ruby before letting out a sigh. 

"No," Oz said as Qrow deflated, hurt obvious in his features. Here he was completely vulnerable in front of Oz, yet again, and the silver haired man was denying him. "I'm not the only one here who loves you. You're safe right now, there's no one here but Ruby and I, you can be vulnerable in this moment with us. Let her make the pain go away, let her make you feel alive, let her love you the way she always has. I can only patch you up my love, but she can heal your soul. Let her love you, let her in, let her do what I can't. I love you, and I can help you, but I carry multiple lifetimes worth of darkness. We both know that darkness cannot heal darkness, not matter how much we wish. I have been with you for so long and we have eased each other's pain, but we have not healed it, or fixed it, or stopped it. We both have darkness in us, but she is the light. She is the only cure that is permanent. Her softness, her understanding, her heart, her purity, her light, let it in. Love her and trust her. Love and trust yourself enough to know that you do not deserve this pain." Oz's voice was soft and sympathetic, nothing close to the voice he had used earlier. Earlier he had been authoritative and demanding, forcing Qrow into a submissive behavior, but right now, Oz needed Qrow to decide this for himself.  

"I don't know—"

"Beloved, she's not asking for you to tell her about every experience that keeps you up at night. She's not asking for a full-blown story behind all of the tears and pain. She's just asking for you to let her be here when you're vulnerable and hurt," Ozpin told him, fingers moving up to twist in Qrow's hair. Oz pulled Qrow up by his hair, much more gently this time, pressing his lips to the man's in a chaste kiss. Copper eyes met red as they stared each other down, having a silent conversation. Ruby watched them silently, trying her best to figure out what they could've been communicating. 

"Please don't push me away," Ruby spoke up, causing both Qrow and Oz to break their eye contact and look at her, "I just want what you and Oz have, and I get that it took a long time for you guys to have that, but I want you to be able to open up and be vulnerable around me. I know it's a lot to ask, but I just—let me hold you the way you would hold me." Qrow met Oz's eyes once again, the silver eyed man giving him a nod of encouragement. Qrow moved to lay between his loves before he rested his head on Ruby's chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist as their legs tangled together, much like when they would cuddle any other time. His ear was pressed to her breast, a pillow he had always wanted. Her arms wrapped around him, one hand tangling into his hair, the other hand trailing up and down his arm lovingly. Qrow breathed in deeply, relishing in the scent of Ruby and Oz that surrounded him. He calmed as he listened to the beating of Ruby's heart. Her young heart beat rapidly like a hummingbird's, calming him with her always excited energy. It was different than Oz's, a steady, calming drum, but it was soothing none the less. Ruby began humming a quiet, soothing tune as she pet his hair, a much different sound to her fluttering heart.  

"Tell me about the fire," Ruby whispered almost silently after a while of calming silence. Qrow stiffened slightly as Ruby hummed quietly, adding pressure to the stroking on his arm. Ozpin shifted so that he was on his side, pressed up against Qrow's back as he draped his arm across the smaller man, hand resting on Ruby's stomach. The copper eyed man pressed a long kiss to Qrow's bare shoulder as the man sighed. 

"Tell her why you ran into that burning building," Ozpin mumbled against Qrow's skin as he continued to kiss Qrow from his shoulder to the column of his neck.  

"I saw a little girl on the second floor screaming for help, and it just reminded me of a mission I went on a long time ago, one I've tried to forget," Qrow explained quietly through a sigh. Ozpin, though keeping his kisses relatively tame, was beginning to get to the more sensitive parts of Qrow's neck, doing a wonderful job at distracting him from the conversation at hand. "You probably don't remember it, you were only about five or six, but I got called off to a mission. I went, I did whatever I had to do, I left. The mission was fine, one of the few missions I've been on in my life where nothing went wrong, guess I should've known nothing good would happen, I was having too much luck. I was on my way back home, but I had to stop at an inn. It was in one of those villages between the kingdoms. It was a decent sized village, there was always enough Huntsmen passing through to keep the village safe from Grimm." Qrow paused. This wasn't even the hard part, but he knew the hard part was coming. 

"After being a Huntsman for as long as I have, after seeing everything I have, after having the Semblance I have, you become kind of a pessimist about certain things in life, you always expect the worst case scenario. Every time I see a village between the kingdoms I always find myself thinking how long until that village is gone, along with its inhabitants. As sad as it sounds, you become a realist, you see the worst in people, the worst case scenarios. So, when I stopped at that village, I remember wondering when the bandits or the Grimm would show up. It was practically a game, picking who would show up first." Qrow casted his eyes down in remembrance, his fingers tracing patterns into the cloth covering her stomach. Ruby tightened her hold on Qrow, fingers massaging into his scalp as Oz kissed at his neck. 

"So was it the bandits that showed up?" Ruby questioned quietly. 

"I wish it was the bandits that showed up," he scoffed. Qrow let out a breathy chuckle, one he often used when he was self loathing. Ozpin, recognizing that particular laugh very well, sat up and harshly grabbed Qrow's chin so that their gazes met. 

Ruby jumped slightly, not only at the roughness of the gesture, but also at the surprise of not expecting it. She bit her lip before focusing back on the broken man lying next to her. Ruby kept her hand in his hair, dragging her fingernails along his scalp gently as Qrow watched Ozpin. The red eyed man blinked up at Ozpin before mouthing,  _Sunlight_. Ozpin released the man, moving to lie back on his side with a relieved sigh. Oz didn’t need Qrow falling into some kind of self loathing behavior. Ozpin could deal with Qrow's tears, could make him forget the pain of everything, but when Qrow blamed himself it was almost always too unbearable. 

Qrow lowered his head back to Ruby's chest, her hold on him tightening once again. Oz trailed his fingers down the length of Qrow's neck as the smaller man shivered, relaxing into Ruby's embrace. 

"It seems like in our line of work there's always someone to blame. Blame the Grimm, the bandits, Salem and her crew, blame yourself, blame anything that will give some kind of reasoning for all the mayhem in the world," Qrow murmured as Ruby scrunched her face up in confusion, "I guess this was the exception. There was no one to blame, no one at fault, it was just a freak accident, one that haunts me.

"Qrow," Ruby cooed out, her fingers trailing down his jawline as a form of comfort, "What happened?"

"A fire broke out, and fire has a habit of spreading." Qrow let out a sigh and glanced away from his two lovers, his mind filling with memories of red, hot flames. 

"The whole village burned," Ruby whispered out in realization as Qrow focused back in on her. 

"And most of the people went with it." The room around them fell silent as Qrow was once again lost in thought. He could still remember waking up to the smell of smoke, could hear the screams as he rushed down the inn's stairs. He could still remember bursting into the center of town to just watch the madness, watch people running with panic, some trying to extinguish the fires eating their homes, others trying to extinguish the fires licking at their skin and clothes. Qrow let out a deep sigh, trying to expel the memory of the smoke from his lungs. He didn't want to dive into the details, didn't want to relive the entire memory. "I tried getting people out, trying to save them, but I couldn't do much before the Grimm showed up. If I didn't stop the Grimm, there would be no people to save. If I did stop the Grimm, there would be no people to save. There was no winning. That whole town went up in smoke and flames, all of those people. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save anyone."

Ruby reached out and stroked Qrow’s head running her fingers through his feathered black hair. "Hey, it's okay, my little bird. You don't have to go into any more detail, I understand. You don't have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to." 

"No, I want to." Ruby gave him a soft smile, shifting to let him snuggle up and tuck his head against her chest so his ear was above her heart. The steady  _thump_ _thump_  so much softer than Oz’s but soothing all the same.

"After everything settled, I made my way home. I was entirely numb. I don't remember traveling home, I don't remember stopping, I don't remember eating or drinking. I just walked and walked and walked. The only thing I remember was thinking I could've caused that fire," Qrow spoke, his eyes softening in sadness, "I kept wondering if it was my fault. I thought my Semblance did it. I thought I was to blame, that I cursed that town." 

"You didn't," Oz spoke up. 

"It wasn't your fault, no matter if your Semblance did it or not. You tried to save people, you didn't want that to happen. It wasn't your fault," Ruby whispered to him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"When I came home I was really bad," Qrow said with a sigh, "You probably don't remember, but that was one of my worse bingers. I drank, I was numb, I cried, punched a few trees. I wasn't in a good place. Tai was barely able to handle dealing with me and you girls. I was a mess." 

"You smelled like smoke," Ruby mumbled, trying to remember a hazy six-year-old Ruby memory. 

"What?" Qrow breathed out, shifting to get a better look at her face. 

"You came home late and you smelled like smoke. I remember asking you if you'd been to a bonfire," Ruby spoke, her eyes fixed on something across the room. 

"How do you even remember that?" 

"Because you started crying. I had never seen you cry before and it scared me, because I thought I said or did something wrong. I didn't want you to cry, I didn’t mean to make you cry," Ruby said, her eyes slowly trailing to meet his, "Dad came downstairs, and told me to go to bed. I was walking up the stairs and I looked back and watched him hug you. I remember thinking I didn't want to see you cry like that ever again. That little six-year-old promised herself she would do everything in her power to make sure you never cried like that again." Oz smiled to himself as he watched Qrow hug Ruby even tighter to him. 

"And you have," Qrow told her with a small smile, wanting her to feel proud of herself, wanting her to realize how much she has helped him. 

"It's what I do," she whispered with a slight shrug. Qrow held her close, letting his breath even out. There was still a pain in his chest, but for once it was starting to ease the slightest bit. The weight of it did not feel as heavy, and he had a feeling it was just a Ruby thing. 

"I think that's enough for tonight," Ozpin said, tired with everything that had come out, "It's time to go to sleep my loves. The conversation can continue tomorrow if need be." Ruby mumbled out an agreement, along with a yawn as Qrow soon followed. Oz shifted to turn off the lights before moving a leg over the pair and an arm around them, holding them comfortably too him. The two purred in unison, Oz’s embrace always felt protective. 

"Thank you," Ruby whispered into the darkness. 

"Always." A soft smile graced Ruby's lips as she quickly felt sleep creep up on her. Oz's hand stroked up and down her side gently as her eyes drifted shut. Oz hummed out a quiet lullaby tune, watching as Qrow relaxed even more. Qrow's breath leveled out to match hers and the last vestiges of pain and worry faded, giving way to sleep. Oz smiled at the pair, he had never meet two souls so in tune with each other.  _Qrow_ _opened up to_ _her_ , Oz thought with a hint of welcomed surprise. He never would've guessed that Qrow would let her in, or that Ruby would be able to handle his darkness and breaking so well. He really needed to stop underestimating his lovers. With that thought and a soft smile on his face, he let sleep enveloped him as well. Tomorrow was likely to be another long day with his loves, and he just hoped there was less of reliving bad memories. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow, that was an emotional roller coaster! what was your favorite part/line? i always love when Ruby goes off on her two idiots.   
> thanks so much for reading <3  
> comments make me a happy writer :) even a smiley face is much appreciated


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